Monday, December 19, 2011

Our Elf VS. Everyone Else's Elves

A few years ago, one of my daughters came home talking about an elf.

Who knew my life was about to change?

"What elf?" I asked.

"An elf on a shelf. He comes to your house and watches you and then reports to Santa."

Hmmmm. Could be blackmail... I could hear myself threatening, "Better be good. The elf is watching and will let Santa know how you're acting."

But, the price was a bit high. $30 for a measly looking elf and a book. Really? $30?? Grandma to the rescue!

And then, Krispie, the elf was at our house. The first year was fun.

The second year not so much.

This year...sigh. Is there anywhere the elf hasn't hidden?

First, why didn't they make this elf posable? He has to be the cheapest made thing I have ever seen. Imagine the possibilities if he was posable? Or had velcro on his hands and feet? But, no, he's very boring. And other than having a skirt for sale NOW, all elves are the same.

Then came the time last year where the elf didn't go back to the North Pole one night. He was in the same place the next morning. Kids were devastated. Did someone touch him? Was their behavior that bad? Was it that good? Why, oh why, didn't Krispie go back to the North Pole? (Mom really felt horrible that day! But, it had poured all night, so she told them that maybe Krispie didn't want to fly in the rain.)

Now, you have to understand that we have a variety of ages in our household. Our daughters range from 14 to 1. The 1 year old does not understand that you cannot touch Krispie, therefore he cannot be low enough for said 1 year old to reach. This limits things. There just aren't enough hiding places in the main rooms. Why doesn't the elf hide in the kids' rooms? Well, this would cause a fight. "Why is Krispie in HER room? Why isn't he in MINE?" Nope. Not happening. Not with 5 kids - although I doubt the oldest and youngest would complain. That still leaves 3 whining about it all day.

So, Krispie is stuck showing up in the game room, living room, kitchen, dining room, and study. And well, I'm not a very fancy person, so we don't have lots of great places for him to hide. And again, he's not posable, so that limits things too.

I decided that Krispie should come a little later this year. Maybe not Thanksgiving weekend, but a week or two later. That way, he didn't have to think of as many places to be.

You would have thought the world ended!

EVERYBODY else's elf came that weekend!!! And by everybody, I do mean everybody. It seems that every household with children under the age of 10 has at least 1 elf, maybe even 2. (One for each kid, I was told. Could you imagine if 5 elves were in this house?)

So, Krispie showed up a few days later. And the kids' were relieved! We read the book. We watched the new TV show.

But, now, I have to hear about everyone else's elf getting creative, or getting into mischief (where in the book did it talk about elves having bad behavior??? Maybe they should be reported to Santa?? Isn't the whole point of having an elf so that the child's behavior gets reported to Santa? Wouldn't a naughty elf encourage naughty behavior? It must be okay to make a mess, the elf does!). One floats on a raft in the pool. One bakes. One does this, one does that. I admit I'm boring. I can write books, but figure out what do do with an elf? Nah. Then I see pictures or read about what to do with your elf...flour? feathers? MESSES? I have FIVE kids, a husband, 2 dogs, a house, and I'm pregnant and you want me to make a mess just to have to clean it up? No.

But, so and so's elf does.

One day, I caught them leaving notes for Krispie asking him to color a picture or write a letter. I put a stop to that. Krispie doesn't have time to draw pictures or write letters. He has to FLY to the North Pole and back every night! Sheesh!!!

But, so and so's elf writes them notes.

UGH!!!!!!! The elf on the shelf used to be fun. I can only hope it'll be fun again, because right now, I'm so not feeling it.

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